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[JOTD] Joke of the day


rudrax

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LazyPotato

One day, two friends (one is indian and other is american) visit a choclate shop in America. Watching the people busyAmerican steal 3 chocolates. After leaving the shop. American said "Man I m the best thief ever, I stole 3 chocolates and no one saw me, u cant beat that". Indian replied:"You wanna see something better, lets go back to the shop and I will show you real stealing" So they went to the counter and Indian said to the Shop boy:-"Do you wanna see magic....?? Shop boy replied:"Yes." Indian said:"Give me one chocolate bar." The shop boy gave him one, and he ate it. He asked for the second, and he ate that as well. He asked for the third, and finished thatone too. The shop boy asked:"But where is the magic....?? Indian replied:"Check in my friends pocket, and you ll find them." U can't beat an INDIAN Hahahha. :showoff: :rolleyes: :D

Haha :)

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LazyPotato

In a hot sunny day Fl0ppy was walking through some street in Iranian desert. He felt thirsty and walked to a house nearby and asked for a glass of water.

A boy named butt-boy came out and told,

Butt-boy - "There is no water in the house. Will you like to some mango juice, instead?"

Fl0ppy - "Yes, of-course (filling his mouth with saliva)"

Fl0ppy drank 5 glasses of juice back to back and asked butt-boy,

Fl0ppy - Don't anyone in your house like juice?

Butt-boy - Of-course they do but today a lizard fell and died in the juice so no one is drinking it.

Hearing this the glass fall from fl0ppy's hand and broke. Butt-boy rushed inside crying and told his momy that fl0ppy broke the glass and now on, in which glass Tomy will drink its water!

I got a feeling that the Butt-boy is me...Damnnnnnnnnnnnnnn,I'm sexy

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A couple living in a small house wanted to have sex
without their son
knowing about it..

They started having
sex in bedroom And asked their son to stand in balcony and keep telling them wats going on outside.

Son :
Seema is playing ,
Ganesh is buying fruits,
Watchman is dozing
and Ramesh uncle
is fucking his wife...

Dad : Wat !
Can you see him !

Is he doing it openly !


Son : No


Dad : Then how can u tell ?



Son : His son
is also standing
in the balcony! ;)
;) ;)

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In a hot sunny day Fl0ppy was walking through some street in Iranian desert. He felt thirsty and walked to a house nearby and asked for a glass of water.

A boy named butt-boy came out and told,

Butt-boy - "There is no water in the house. Will you like to some mango juice, instead?"

Fl0ppy - "Yes, of-course (filling his mouth with saliva)"

Fl0ppy drank 5 glasses of juice back to back and asked butt-boy,

Fl0ppy - Don't anyone in your house like juice?

Butt-boy - Of-course they do but today a lizard fell and died in the juice so no one is drinking it.

Hearing this the glass fall from fl0ppy's hand and broke. Butt-boy rushed inside crying and told his momy that fl0ppy broke the glass and now on, in which glass Tomy will drink its water!

I got a feeling that the Butt-boy is me...Damnnnnnnnnnnnnnn,I'm sexy

No, not at all. We have two boys in nsane community.

Shought - Bug-boy

DKT27 - Butt-boy

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LazyPotato

In a hot sunny day Fl0ppy was walking through some street in Iranian desert. He felt thirsty and walked to a house nearby and asked for a glass of water.

A boy named butt-boy came out and told,

Butt-boy - "There is no water in the house. Will you like to some mango juice, instead?"

Fl0ppy - "Yes, of-course (filling his mouth with saliva)"

Fl0ppy drank 5 glasses of juice back to back and asked butt-boy,

Fl0ppy - Don't anyone in your house like juice?

Butt-boy - Of-course they do but today a lizard fell and died in the juice so no one is drinking it.

Hearing this the glass fall from fl0ppy's hand and broke. Butt-boy rushed inside crying and told his momy that fl0ppy broke the glass and now on, in which glass Tomy will drink its water!

I got a feeling that the Butt-boy is me...Damnnnnnnnnnnnnnn,I'm sexy

No, not at all. We have two boys in nsane community.

Shought - Bug-boy

DKT27 - Butt-boy

Haha Shought lol. Then I'll be myself...JESUS

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4 Students:
1 of HARVARD
1 of OXFORD
1 of TEXAS
&
1 of PUNJAB UNIVERSITY...

1 Common Question:-

"What is the Fastest thing in the World?"

Student of HARVARD: "Light"

Student of OXFORD: "Thought"

Student of TEXAS:
"Blink of an Eye"

SARDAR of PUNJAB UNIVERSITY:
"Loose Motion!"
Because
Last Night I Was Lying On My Bed & Before I Could
"Blink", "Think" or "Turn on the Light",,
It was all Over...

:moon: :moon: :moon:

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Four guys have been going to the same deer camp for many years. Two days before the group is to leave, Frank’s wife puts her foot down and tells him he isn’t going. Frank’s friends are very upset that he can’t go, but what can they do.Two days later the three get to the camping site only to find Frank sitting there with a tent set up, firewood gathered, and dinner cooking on the fire.


“Damn man, how long you been here, and how did you talk your wife into letting you go?”

“Well, I’ve been here since yesterday. Yesterday evening, I was sitting in my chair and my wife came up behind me and put her hands over my eyes and said, ‘Guess who?’” I pulled her hands off, and she was wearing a brand new see through nightie. She took my hand and pulled me to our bedroom. The room had candles and rose pedals all over. On the bed she had handcuffs, and ropes! She told me to tie and cuff her to the bed, and I did.

And then she said, “Do what ever you want.”


So, here I am.

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Four guys have been going to the same deer camp for many years. Two days before the group is to leave, Frank’s wife puts her foot down and tells him he isn’t going. Frank’s friends are very upset that he can’t go, but what can they do.Two days later the three get to the camping site only to find Frank sitting there with a tent set up, firewood gathered, and dinner cooking on the fire.
“Damn man, how long you been here, and how did you talk your wife into letting you go?”
“Well, I’ve been here since yesterday. Yesterday evening, I was sitting in my chair and my wife came up behind me and put her hands over my eyes and said, ‘Guess who?’” I pulled her hands off, and she was wearing a brand new see through nightie. She took my hand and pulled me to our bedroom. The room had candles and rose pedals all over. On the bed she had handcuffs, and ropes! She told me to tie and cuff her to the bed, and I did.
And then she said, “Do what ever you want.”
So, here I am.

and that is exactly what every hunter in the world would have done too!

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1 sperm has 37.5 MB of DNA information in it. That means a normal ejaculation represents a data transfer of 1589 GB in about 3 secs.

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Santa was in the restaurant wen he suddenly realised he desperately needed to fart.

The music was really loud, so he timed his fart with the beat of the music.... After a couple of songs & a dozen of passes, he started feeling better.

So he finished his coffee and stood up to leave.. thats wen he noticed that everybody in the restaurant was staring at him... And thats wen he realised that he was listenin to music on his iPod!!!

:D :D :P :D :D

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A married couple was travelling by car from Victoria to Prince George.

Being seniors, after almost eleven hours on the road, they were too tired to continue and decided to take a room. But, they only planned to sleep for four hours and then get back on the road.
When they checked out four hours later, the desk clerk handed them a bill for $350.00.
The man explodes and demands to know why the charge is so high. He told the clerk although it's a nice hotel; the rooms certainly aren't worth $350.00 for four hours. Then the clerk tells him that $350.00 is the 'standard rate'. He insisted on speaking to the Manager.
The Manager appears, listens to him, and then explains that the hotel has an Olympic-sized pool and a huge conference centre that were available for us to use.
"But we didn't use them," the husband said.
"Well, they are here, and you could have," explained the Manager.
The Manager went on to explain that the couple could also have taken in one of the shows for which the hotel is famous. "We have the best entertainers from New York , Hollywood , and Las Vegas perform here," the Manager says.
"But we didn't go to any of those shows," the husband said.
"Well, we have them, and you could have," the Manager replied.
No matter what amenity the Manager mentioned, the husband replied, "But we didn't use it!"
The Manager is unmoved, and eventually the husband gave up and agreed to pay. As he didn't have the check book, he asked his wife to write the check. She did and gave it to the Manager.
The Manager is surprised when he looks at the check. "But ma'am, this is made out for only $50.00."
"That's correct. I charged you $300.00 for sleeping with me," she replied.
"But I didn't!" exclaims the Manager.
"Well, too bad, I was here, and you could have."
Don't mess with senior citizens.....They didn't get there by being stupid.
-Thanks Guys for reading my last post Enjoy your Life!!! :)
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Why I got divorced.......... Sad story of a Man :(
Last wéek was my birthday....

My wife didnt wish me....

My parents forgot and so did my kids....

I went to work....

Even my colleagues didnt wish me....

As i entered my cabin my secretary said,"Happy Birthday Boss".... i felt so special.... She asked me out to lunch.... After lunch,she invited me to her apartment... WE went there.... She said,"Do you mind if i go into the bedroom for a minute ?" "OKAY",i said... She came out 5min later with a cake And My Wife, My Parents, My Kids ,My Friends & My Colleagues... All Screaming, SURPRISE.... And I was waiting on the sofa.............
NAKED
:spank: :spank:

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Question : What's the difference between an Arranged Marriage and Love Marriage?
Answer : Love Marriage is Impulsive Suicide, while Arranged Marriage is Pre-Planned Murder :unsure:

:unsure: :unsure: :unsure: :unsure: :unsure: :unsure: :unsure:

Cheer Everybody and Have a love day .... :) :)
:) :)
:) :)
:rolleyes: :rolleyes:
:rolleyes:

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