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[JOTD] Joke of the day


rudrax

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Astronaut 1: "I can't find any milk for my coffee"


Astronaut 2: "In space no-one can. Here, use cream"

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A stingy old lawyer who had been diagnosed with a terminal illness was determined to prove wrong the old saying, “You can’t take it with you.”
After much thought and consideration, the old ambulance-chaser finally figured out how to take at least some of his money with him when he died.
He instructed his wife to go to the bank and withdraw enough money to fill two pillowcases. He then directed her to take the bags of money to the attic and leave them directly above his bed.
His plan: When he passed away, he would reach out and grab the bags on his way to heaven. Several weeks after the funeral, the deceased lawyer’s wife, up in the attic cleaning came upon the two forgotten pillowcases stuffed with cash.
“Oh, that old fool,” she exclaimed. “I knew he should have had me put the money in the basement.”

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Law of equality

 

The time taken by a wife when she says I'll get ready in 5 min is exactly equal to the time taken by husband when he says 'I'll call u in 5 min!

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Two retired professors were vacationing with their wives at a hotel in the Catskills. They were sitting on the veranda one summer evening, watching the sunset.
The history professor asked the psychology professor, “Have you read Marx?”
To which the professor of psychology replied, “Yes and I think it’s these damned wicker chairs.”

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As the doctor completed an examination of the patient, he said, ''I can't find a cause for your complaint. Frankly, I think it's due to drinking.''


''In that case,'' said the patient, ''I'll come back when you're sober''

 

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A Canadian tourist is fascinated by the Native American way of life and culture, so he decides to visit a reservation in the United States to find out more.


After a long and dusty drive through the Arizona desert, he finally arrives at the reservation.


Soon after his arrival, the tourist meets an old chief, who claims to remember everything that ever happened in his life.


The tourist is curious and asks the chief: “What did you have for breakfast on your fifth birthday?”Without hesitation, the chief replies: “eggs”.


The tourist was very impressed by this, and he never forgot the chief’s words, even after his visit had long since ended.


Ten years later, he returns to the reservation and is surprised to see the same old chief again.


He approaches the chief, puts his hand up flat and greets him with “how”.


“Scrambled,” the old chief replied.

 

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