Karlston Posted November 23, 2020 Share Posted November 23, 2020 Krinal and funkyy 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ducky88 Posted November 24, 2020 Share Posted November 24, 2020 Two elderly women were eating breakfast in a restaurant one morning. Ethel noticed something funny about Mabel's ear and she said, "Mabel, did you know you've got a suppository in your left ear? " Mabel answered, "I have a suppository?" She pulled it out and stared at it. Then she said, "Ethel, I'm glad you saw this thing. Now I think I know where my hearing aid is." Krinal, funkyy, TrojanK and 1 other 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Krinal Posted November 24, 2020 Share Posted November 24, 2020 (edited) Teacher : Why do you always get so dirty? Student : Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are. Edited November 25, 2020 by Rajeshl flash13, funkyy and Karlston 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flash13 Posted November 24, 2020 Share Posted November 24, 2020 Karlston, ducky88, sandman117 and 3 others 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karlston Posted November 24, 2020 Share Posted November 24, 2020 How many Mystery-genre writers does it take to change a light bulb? Spoiler Two. One to screw it almost all the way in and the other to give it a surprising twist at the end. -------------------------------------------- I overdosed on Viagra yesterday. Spoiler Hardest day of my life. Krinal, august_rain, TrojanK and 3 others 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Akaneharuka Posted November 25, 2020 Share Posted November 25, 2020 august_rain, Krinal, funkyy and 1 other 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ducky88 Posted November 25, 2020 Share Posted November 25, 2020 A man is dining in a fancy restaurant and there is a gorgeous redhead sitting at the next table. He has been checking her out since he sat down, but lacks the nerve to talk with her. Suddenly she sneezes, and her glass eye comes flying out of its socket towards the man. He reflexively reaches out, grabs it out of the air, and hands it back. “Oh my, I am so sorry,” the woman says as she pops her eye back in place. "Let me buy your dinner to make it up to you, " she says. They enjoy a wonderful dinner together, and afterwards they go to the theater followed by drinks. They talk, they laugh, she shares her deepest dreams and he shares his. She listens. After paying for everything, she asks him if he would like to come to her place for a nightcap and stay for breakfast. They had a wonderful, wonderful time. The next morning, she cooks a gourmet meal with all the trimmings. The guy is amazed!! Everything had been SO incredible!!! "You know, " he said, "you are the perfect woman. Are you this nice to every guy you meet? " "No, " she replies… ""You just happened to catch my eye." Karlston, Krinal, funkyy and 3 others 1 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Krinal Posted November 25, 2020 Popular Post Share Posted November 25, 2020 Teacher:Y r u late? Student: Mom & dad were fighting. Teacher: so what makes U late if dey were fighting? Student: one shoe was in mom's hand and one in dad's.. ducky88, scarabou, TrojanK and 5 others 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Krinal Posted November 25, 2020 Share Posted November 25, 2020 Teacher: How old is your father? Student: He is 6 years. Teacher: What? How is this possible? Student: He became father only when I was born. ducky88, Karlston, scarabou and 2 others 1 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scarabou Posted November 25, 2020 Share Posted November 25, 2020 A wife sent her husband a romantic text message… She wrote: “If you are sleeping, send me your dreams. If you are laughing, send me your smile. If you are eating, send me a bite. If you are drinking, send me a sip. If you are crying, send me your tears. I love you.” Her husband texted back: “I’m on the toilet, please advise.” august_rain, funkyy, ducky88 and 3 others 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted November 25, 2020 Share Posted November 25, 2020 A woman who plays cards once a month with a group of friends was concerned that she always woke her husband when she came home around 11:30. One night she decided to try not to rouse him. She undressed in the living room and, purse over arm, tiptoed nude into the bedroom - only to find her husband sitting up in bed reading. "Darn it woman!" he exclaimed. "Did you lose everything?" Karlston, scarabou, ducky88 and 3 others 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted November 25, 2020 Share Posted November 25, 2020 One day, a girl walks to her mother and look at her mother's hair and sadly said: "Why are some of your hair white mom?" The mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white. The girl thought about this revelation a while, and then said, "Momma, how come *all* of grandma's hairs are white?" Karlston, TrojanK, funkyy and 1 other 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted November 25, 2020 Share Posted November 25, 2020 There was a fly buzzing around a barn one day when he happened on a pile of fresh cow manure. Due to the fact that it had been hours since his last meal, he flew down and began to eat. He ate and ate and ate. Finally, he decided he had eaten enough and tried to fly away. He had eaten too much though, and could not get off the ground. As he looked around wondering what to do now, he spotted a pitchfork leaning up against the wall. He climbed to the top of the handle and jumped off, thinking that once he got airborne, he would be able to take flight. Unfortunately he was wrong and dropped like a rock, splatting when he hit the floor. The moral to the story is: Never fly off the handle when you're full of sh*t. Karlston and funkyy 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flash13 Posted November 25, 2020 Share Posted November 25, 2020 scarabou, funkyy, Karlston and 1 other 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karlston Posted November 25, 2020 Share Posted November 25, 2020 Amazon has now been approved for drone deliveries. Spoiler We now have skeet shooting – with prizes! Krinal, funkyy, scarabou and 2 others 1 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted November 25, 2020 Share Posted November 25, 2020 Why do Dasher and Dancer enjoy coffee so much? Because they're Santa's star bucks! Karlston and Krinal 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Krinal Posted November 26, 2020 Share Posted November 26, 2020 Teacher : What is the full form of Maths? Student :'Mentaly Affected Teachers Harrasing Students' august_rain 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ducky88 Posted November 26, 2020 Share Posted November 26, 2020 A man buys a parrot and brings him home. But the parrot starts insulting him and gets really nasty, so the man picks up the parrot and tosses him into the freezer to teach him a lesson. He hears the bird squawking for a few minutes, but all of a sudden, the parrot is quiet. The man opens the freezer door, the parrot walks out, looks up at him and says, "I apologize for offending you, and I humbly ask your forgiveness." The man says, "Well, thank you. I forgive you." The parrot then says, "If you don't mind my asking, what did the turkey do?" funkyy, august_rain, Krinal and 3 others 1 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
august_rain Posted November 26, 2020 Share Posted November 26, 2020 GF: What is your idea of a perfect date? Me: DD/MM/YYYY. funkyy, scarabou, Krinal and 1 other 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Krinal Posted November 26, 2020 Share Posted November 26, 2020 There's this drunk standing out on the street corner, and a cop passes by, and says, "What do you think you're doing?" The drunk says, "I heard the world goes around every 24 hours, and I'm waiting on my house. Won't be long now, there goes my neighbor." august_rain, Karlston, scarabou and 1 other 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted November 26, 2020 Share Posted November 26, 2020 A wife asked her husband: "What do you like most in me my pretty face or my sexy body?" He looked at her from head to toe and replied: "I like your sense of humor." TrojanK, Krinal, scarabou and 3 others 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karlston Posted November 26, 2020 Share Posted November 26, 2020 Krinal 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Krinal Posted November 27, 2020 Share Posted November 27, 2020 Girl to Fireman: "It must have taken a lot of courage to rescue me as you did." Fireman: "Yes. I had to knock down three other guys who wanted to do it." Karlston, scarabou, august_rain and 1 other 1 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Krinal Posted November 27, 2020 Share Posted November 27, 2020 "It seems they had to give Mrs. Singh anesthesia twice for one operation." "How come?" "Once to perform the operation and once to keep her from talking about it." kmr1685, aum, august_rain and 3 others 2 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scarabou Posted November 27, 2020 Share Posted November 27, 2020 Karlston, aum, august_rain and 3 others 1 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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