Jump to content

[JOTD] Joke of the day


Recommended Posts

17.jpg

  • Like 1
  • Haha 2
Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Replies 5.2k
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

  • Karlston

    755

  • aum

    508

  • polinom00

    374

  • flash13

    294

Top Posters In This Topic

Popular Posts

Lost in translation....

A man wakes up in the recovery room after a bowel removal operation. The nurse sitting next to him says:

"Oh Good! You are awake. Your surgeon has a favor to ask. Could you please go take a dump as soon as possible?"

"He wants his watch back..."

 

Link to post
Share on other sites

A professor of chemistry wanted to teach his 5th grade class a lesson about the evils of alcohol, so he produced an experiment that involved a glass of water, a glass of whiskey and two worms.

"Now, class. Observe closely the worms," said the professor putting a worm first into the water.

The worm in the water writhed about, happy as a worm in water could be.

The second worm, he put into the whiskey. It writhed painfully, and quickly sank to the bottom, dead as a doornail.

"Now, what lesson can we derive from this experiment?" the professor asked.

Little Johnny, who naturally sits in back, raised his hand and wisely, responded... "Drink whiskey and you won't get worms!

Link to post
Share on other sites

20.jpg

  • Haha 2
Link to post
Share on other sites

Little Amy was in the garden filling in a hole when her neighbor peered over the fence.

Interested in what the cheeky-faced youngster was doing, he politely asked, "What are you up to there, Amy?"

"My goldfish died," replied Amy tearfully, without looking up, "and I've just buried him."

The neighbor was concerned, "That's an awfully big hole for a goldfish, isn't it?"

Amy patted down the last heap of earth then replied, "That's because he's inside your cat." 

Link to post
Share on other sites

An elderly man is stopped by the police around 2 a.m. and is asked where he is going at this time of night.


The man replies, "I am on my way to a lecture about alcohol abuse and the effects it has on the human body, as well as smoking and staying out late."


The officer then asks, "Really? Who is giving that lecture at this time of night?"


The man replies, "That would be my wife."

 

Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

  • Recently Browsing   1 member

    • Homer Simpsom
×
×
  • Create New...