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[JOTD] Joke of the day


rudrax

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When my wife starts to sing I always go out and do some garden work so our neighbors can see there's no domestic violence going on.

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Patient: Doctor! You've got to help me! Nobody ever listens to me. No one ever pays any attention to what I have to say.

Doctor: Next please!

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A: Did you hear that a baby was fed on elephant's milk and gained twenty pounds in a week.

B: That's impossible. Whose baby?

A: An elephant's.

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There Was A Party & The Host Was Getting Worried  Because There Were Too Many People And Not Enough Refreshments. 

Host Wasn’t Sure If All Of Them Were Invited Or Not. 

Then He Got An Idea. 

He Turned To Guests & Said: “Will All Those From The Bride Side Of The Family Please Stand Up?” 

About 20 People Stood. 

Then He Asked: “And From Groom’s Side?” 

About 25 More People Stood. 

Then He Smiled & Said: “Will All Those Who Stood Please Leave, This Is A Birthday Party”

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An Angry Wife To Her Husband On Phone: “Where The Hell Are You?” 

Husband: “Darling You Remember That Jewellery Shop Where You Saw The Diamond Necklace And Totally Fell In Love With It & I Didn’t Have Money That Time & I Said Baby It’ll Be Yours One Day” 

Wife, With A Smile & Blushing: “Yeah, I Remember That My Love” 

Husband: “I’m In The Barber Shop Just Next To That Shop“

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Understanding A Girl 

This Is Like Downloading A 4GB File. 

At The Speed Of 2kbps. 

Which Ends Up..  In A Error At 99% Completed…

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A Woman Went For Fishing, But She Enjoyed Boating & Got Tired. 

She Sat, Kept Her Things In Side & Started Reading A Book. 

A Policeman Came And Said: “Mam You Are In No Fishing Zone.” 

She Said: “I Am Reading Not Fishing.” 

Policeman Said: “Then What, You Have All Equipment & You Might Start Anytime.” 

Woman Shouted: “Hey You Are Sexually Harassing Me.” 

Policeman Shocked: “I Am Not Doing Anything!” 

She Smiled: “But You Have All The Equipment & You Might Start Anytime!”

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