[JOTD] Joke of the day

June 16, 2019

A man gets on a plane and is seated next to a young kid. The kid won't stop talking during the flight so the man turns to him and says, "Lets talk."

The kid replies, "Okay, what do you want to talk about?"

The man replies, "How about string theory?"

The boy says, "That's a very interesting topic. But first, do you know why rabbits, horses, and cows poop all have different poop even though they all eat grass?"

The man replies, "I have no idea."

The boy smiles and says, "How do you expect to discuss string theory when you don't know shit."

Three men are traveling though the dessert and they are very thirsty. They come to a mysterious water slide in the middle of the dessert that has instructions at the top: "Slide down and yell the drink of your choice and at the bottom you will find a pool of that beverage."

The three men are very excited. The first man slides down and yells "Milk!" He then falls into a pool of water.

The next man goes down and yells "Lemonade!" He falls into a pool full of it.

The final man goes down and overwhelmed with excitement he yells "Weeee!"

Mr. Smith has two children. If the older child is a boy, what are the odds that the other child is also a boy?

Spoiler

50 percent

I'm light as a feather, yet the strongest man can't hold me for more than 5 minutes. What am I?

Spoiler

Breath

Skinny I am fast,
fat I am slow,
but I'll still delight you from your eyes to your nose.

What am I?

Spoiler

A candle

My first is often at the front door.
My second is found in the cereal family.
My third is what most people want.
My whole is one of the united states.

What am I?

Spoiler

Matrimony (mat rye money). Which is certainly a united state!