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[JOTD] Joke of the day


rudrax

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An 8 year old girl went to the office with her father on 'Take your kid to work Day'.


As they walked round the office she started crying and getting cranky.


Her father asked what was wrong.


As the staff gathered round she sobbed loudly, "Daddy, where are all the clowns you said you worked with?"

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A lawyer and an engineer were fishing in the Caribbean.


The lawyer said, "I'm here because my house burned down, and everything I owned was destroyed by the fire. The insurance company paid for everything."


"That's quite a coincidence," said the engineer. "I'm here because my house and all my belongings were destroyed by a flood, and my insurance company also paid for everything."


The lawyer looked somewhat confused. "How do you start a flood?" he asked.
 

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An out-of-towner drove his car into a ditch in a desolated area. Luckily, a local farmer came to help with his big strong horse named Buddy.


He hitched Buddy up to the car and yelled, "Pull, Nellie, pull." Buddy didn't move.


Then the farmer hollered, "Pull, Buster, pull." Buddy didn't respond.


Once more the farmer commanded, "Pull, Jennie, pull." Nothing.


Then the farmer nonchalantly said, "Pull, Buddy, pull." And the horse easily dragged the car out of the ditch.


The motorist was most appreciative and very curious. He asked the farmer why he called his horse by the wrong name three times.


The farmer said, "Oh, Buddy is blind, and if he thought he was the only one pulling, he wouldn't even try!"
 

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9 hours ago, SwissMiss said:

low_Reboot%20Computer_cover.jpg

She must be a blondie. Maybe the hair is dyed.

Edited by vitorio
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Farmer#1: I used to have a nice chicken farm until they all died.

Farmer#2: Really, thats too bad, what happened?

Farmer#1: I think I planted them too deep. :lmao:

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A contestant, Sally, on 'Who Wants to be a Millionaire?' had reached the final plateau.


If she answered the next question correctly, she would win $1,000,000. If she answered incorrectly, she would pocket only the $25,000 milestone money.


And as she suspected it would be, the million-dollar question was no pushover.

 

The question was, 'Which of the following species of birds does not build its own nest, but instead lays its eggs in the nests of other birds?’
Is it:


1) the condor
2) the buzzard
3) the cuckoo
4) the vulture

 

The woman was on the spot. She did not know the answer. She had used up her 50/50 Lifeline and her Ask the Audience Lifeline. All that remained was her Phone-a-Friend Lifeline.


She hoped she would not have to use it because her friend was, well, blonde. But she had no alternative. She called her friend and gave her the question and the four choices.


The blonde responded unhesitatingly : 'That's easy. The answer is 3)...  the cuckoo.'

 

The contestant had to make a decision and make it fast. She considered employing a reverse strategy and giving any answer except the one that her friend had given her. And, considering her friend was a blonde, that would seem to be the logical thing to do. But her friend had responded with such confidence, such certitude, that the contestant could not help but be convinced.


'I need an answer,' said the host.

 

Crossing her fingers, the contestant said, '3) The cuckoo.'

 

'Is that your final answer?'


'Yes, that is my final answer.'

 

And the host replied, 'That answer is.... Absolutely correct! You are now a millionaire!'

 

Three days later, the contestant hosted a party for her family and friends, including the blonde who had helped her win the million dollars.


'Joni, I just do not know how to thank you,' said the contestant. 'How did you happen to know the right answer?'

 

'Oh, come on,' said the blonde... 'Everybody knows that cuckoos don't build nests. They live in clocks.'

 

Sally fainted...........................

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4 minutes ago, Karlston said:

Oh, come on,' said the blonde... 'Everybody knows that cuckoos don't build nests. They live in clocks.

Definitely she is blondie!

 

 

 

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Energex is an electricity provider in SE Queensland, not far away from me.

 

27.jpg

 

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22 minutes ago, Mach1 said:

I don't blame him they breed some mean chickens up your way mate 😄

 

That's very emusing. :lol:

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"I bet you don't know what day this is", said the wife to her husband as he made his way out the front door. The husband was perplexed, but was always a quick thinker:

"Of course I do, my dear. How could I forget!?" With that, he turned and rushed to catch the bus for work.

At 10 AM, the doorbell rang and when the woman opened the door, she was handed a box containing a dozen long stemmed red roses.

At 1 PM, a foil wrapped, two pound box of her favorite chocolates arrived. Later, a boutique delivered a designer dress. The woman couldn't wait for her husband to come home.

The husband was smug when he returned from work, satisfied that he had recovered what could have been a very bad situation.

His wife was indeed surprised: "First the flowers, then the chocolates and then the dress!" she exclaimed, "I've never had a more wonderful Groundhog Day in my life!"
 

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