The Owl Posted May 26, 2015 Share Posted May 26, 2015 Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.----------Two rednecks are sitting on a porch watching a dog lick his balls.First redneck: "I wish i could do that"Second redneck: "He would bite you"Or:......Give him a biscuit and he might let you------------ Got stopped in the street outside Boots today by a woman with aclipboard asking "What products do I use for grooming?" She was a bittaken aback when I replied, "Facebook".-----------------They say that sex is the best form of exercise. Now correct me ifI'm wrong but I don't think 2 minutes and 15 seconds every 6 months isgoing to shift this beer belly.---------------I was unbelievably excited when I took delivery of our 62inch, 3D Smart tv, and as I hugged and drooled over it on its stand, the wife let out a derisory huff.."Look at the state of you, you're pathetic." She snarled. "Fawning over a tv, why can't you manage that sort of affection for me?""Because I can get my fcuking arms around the telly." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
funkyy Posted May 26, 2015 Share Posted May 26, 2015 Minnie Mouse was looking down in the dumps. Donald Duck asks her what's wrong.Minnie says that Micky Mouse is divorcing her. Donald says "What? On what grounds?""Stupidity" says Minnie."That can't be right" says Donald, "I've never heard that as grounds for divorce before. Are you sure?""Yes" says Minnie, "He says I'm f*cking Goofy" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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